The Lioness

I'm all married up now, it's a very different lifestyle to my previously wild and free days. By some standards I guess I married late. Late enough to have developed a strong Independence and free spirit. Sometimes I long for the single life mainly due to the fact that I love to flirt. Oh, come on we all like to think we've still got it.

When I was talking about my 'wild woman' independence recently I was asked why I'd gotten married; if I just got to a stage in my life where I thought I should since everyone else was doing it. I guess that's part of it. I did feel some pressure to get hitched with the constant tick tock, tick tock pulsating in my eardrums. The truth is, I just wanted to marry my husband. It's that simple. I met him, loved him and wanted to marry him. I don't know all the reasons why but it was just right. No one else had ever seemed so right.

By the time I met my husband, I had made a conscious decision to be single for the rest of my life. I had convinced myself that I was happy to sustain my shrunken heart on a string of short passionate relationships for better or for worse. All the while my heart was whispering to me "don't put me through this again", but I ignored it and carried on. I see now that my situation dictated my mindset. But try telling me that then....whooooa nelly you would have been in for a fight!

Our first three months together were all about me laying solid boundary fences around my comfort zones. I had never experienced true, real, solid love and it scared me. This wasn't what I was all about! I was Wild Woman; ROAAAAAAR!!

After a while, and believe me it did take a while, I took a chance and let go. I gave in to my pleading heart. I am still the same person with the same sense of inderpendance and strong will. He loves me for it.

Occasionaly, I run out into the wilds to feel the wind in my main and roar (loudly) but then go home to the comfort of my warm bed, next to the same warm strong body that I know so well.

It is then, that I notice my heart beat strong in my chest.